Ross: we were on a break!

Rachel: hey, just so you know: it's *not* that common, it *doesn't* "happen to every guy, " and it *is* a big deal!
Chandler: i knew it!

Chandler: i can handle this. "handle" is my middle name. actually, "handle" is the middle of my first name.

Chandler: the only way i would've said six would have been if i had said, 'let's meet at seven, not at six.'
Monica: the only way i would've said seven, would have been if i had said, 'wow, my boyfriend is such a wiseass... seven!'

Monica: guys can fake it? unbelievable! the one thing that's ours!

Ross: so, uh, what did the insurance company say?
Chandler: oh, they said uh, 'you don't have insurance here so stop calling us.'

Ross: first divorce: wife's hidden sexuality, not my fault. second divorce: said the wrong name at the altar, kind of my fault. third divorce: they shouldn't let you get married when you're that drunk & have stuff drawn all over your face, Nevada's fault.

Monica: my motto is get out before they go down.
Joey: that is so not my motto!

Phoebe: Pheobe. that's, P, as in Phoebe, H, as in heobe, O as in oebe, E, as in ebe, B, as in bebe, and E as in... ello there mate.

Monica: i'm Rachel. i love Ross. i hate Ross. i love Ross. i hate Ross.
Rachel: i'm Monica. i can't get a boyfriend so i'll stumble across the hall & sleep with the first guy i find there.

Chandler: i'm not so good with the advice... can i interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Ross: i figured after work, i'd pick up a bottle of wine, go over there, and try to... woo her.
Chandler: hey, you know what you should do? take her back to the 1800's when that phrase was last used.
Rachel: do you know the only person who'd wanna listen to this? a mental health professional. & that's only because they get paid a hundred dollars an hour.
Chandler: what? what? what is it? that she left you? that she likes women? that she left you for another woman that likes women?
Ross: a little louder, okay? i think there's a man on the twelfth floor - in a COMA - who didn't hear you.

Joey: why do you have to break up with her? be a man. just stop calling.

Rachel: i'm not someone who goes after a guy five minutes after he's divorced.
Monica: no, you go after them five minutes before they get married.
Phoebe: smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? smelly cat, smelly cat, it's not your fault.

Ross: Chandler entered a Vanilla Ice look-alike contest and *won*!
Chandler: Ross came fourth & cried!

Joey: how you doin?

Ross: oh my god! did she get off the plane? did she get off the plane?
Rachel: i got off the plane!
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